Obama’s Hurricane Florence Leaves 500 Million Without Power, Destroys Christianity in South Carolina

Moral news outlets report breaking news of Obama’s summoned Hurricane Florida. Eyewitnesses report the storm is apocalyptic, the likes of which were never seen before. A team of super Christians attempted to build a prayer wall of energy to block the storm, but Obama’s dark power has grown too strong.

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ALERT: Gays Invent Photon-Bending Solar Eclipse Glasses To Convert Straight Men Into Homosexuality

Gays have pooled their vast resources and mastery of physics to unleash a plan that will convert many straight-family men into into homosexuality during the August, 21st solar eclipse. The Christian Defense League of Texas reports that gays have found a way to harness light energy to cause homosexuality to...

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Bloodwork Reveals President Obama has Midichlorian Count of 20,000

Sources within the Obama Administration report that recent bloodwork shows President Obama has a midi-chlorian count of over 20,000. While the field of Midi-chlorian genetics is a hotbed topic in the scientific community, historians and religious scholars are deeply troubled by the report that comes from within the Obama Administration....

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