While the field of Midi-chlorian genetics is a hotbed topic in the scientific community, historians and religious scholars are deeply troubled by the report that comes from within the Obama Administration.
Soon after the discovery of DNA’s structure by Watson and Cricke, researchers found the first evidence of Midichloria bacteria, a symbiotic parasite organism that is found within ticks in Kenya and is transferred into a mammal’s bloodstream — where it thrives — during a tick bite.
Locals from Eastern Kenya give historical accounts of men and even animals, who after being bit by the hard tick Ixodes ricinus, develop abilities that border upon the supernatural. Locals suspect that the Obama family — who are affiliated with powerful goat-herders in Kenya — are aware of this fact and maintain a line of these ticks to feast upon their goats to grow strong and then bite the male children born to their family.
Examples of Obama displaying his midichloria-infused abilities:
In 2011, a photographer captured the moment Obama used a flash of lightening to threaten a conservative reporter at the National Academy of Sciences. The reporter asked Obama to confess that he and scientists were using the Large Hadron Collider to capture the souls of Christians and to wage war on faith.
In this undated photograph, members of the Obama family smile as their patriarch uses his power to thrust a beam of hand-wielded energy through an innocent man.
While giving a speech to liberal students, Obama shows off his power and convinces them that he can show them how to ‘take mastery and control of the world around you.’ Obama later told aides that such mind-wowing displays of his power to the masses will help him recruit the soldiers needed to create a new age of ‘liberal darkness’.