While seasoned gays such as Sir Elton John, Liberace and Sir Ian McKellen are some of the most recognizable examples of men who are in Stage III homosexuality, officials warn that Stage IV homosexuality takes the condition ‘to entirely new levels of psychological and physiological extremes’ that push the limits of the human body.
Scientists report that early last week, a gay man was brought into a hospital emergency room after being unable to quit excessively gay activity. The man’s husband reports that his partner ‘did not sleep for over a week straight, and was caught in an obsessive cycle of work, partying, drugs, weight-lifting and unspeakable passion’.
“His body just could not take a break from doing classically gay things,” one doctor called in reported. Out of desperation, the couple even called in priests and Christian scientists confirmed the homosexuality could not even be exorcised or prayed out of the victim.
“His homosexuality is so severe, he cannot rest. The scent of a straight man only causes him to ravenously stamp his legs and growl seductively. The sight of metal causes him to run to it and start grunting and lifting. A new outfit, and he’ll pose for hours on end in the mirror. It just goes on and on,” reported a friend.
The Christian Defense League of Texas encourages homosexuals to consider getting prayer and converting back to heterosexuality, as there is no known cure for Stage IV Homosexuality.
The AMA is defining Stage IV Homosexuality as ‘an orientation condition in which the sufferer cannot reverse his sexuality to its default natural state.’
Those who are borderline Phase 4 Homosexuality may display the following symptoms:
- Obsessive Need to Exercise; Hypermyopathy
- Higher Than Usual Intelligence
- Intense OCD
- Slurred Speech