Obama Orders Navy Pilot to Draw Subliminal Homosexual Chemtrails Over American’s Skies

Obama still has sleeper agents in the United States government.  Officials with the Christian Defender League of Texas confirm that at approximately 12:50 pm, the United States Navy flew homosexual sorties over the skies of Washington.  When the missions were over, citizens who looked skyward saw the following display of...

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Why Did Obama Order Trump’s Twitter Shut Down for 11 Minutes

It was the darkest 11 minutes in modern American history.  By the power of Obama, President Trump was cut off from his 41.7 million followers. Sources with the Christian Defender League of America report that Obama likely unleashed the unholy “404” error rite upon President Trump’s Twitter feed. Moral publications...

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Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) Scheduled by DOD for November 4 – 6 – What It Means for You

Social media is circulating an amateur video that reports an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) will take place on November 4 – 6 and wipe out the nation’s entire power grid. The video’s proposition that the Department of Defense is planning on wiping out electronic communication is likely false.  According to the...

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I Am Extremely Terrified of Gay People, But I’m Not Racist

With their boundless energy, chiseled physiques and enhanced mental acuity from the surging hormones coalescing with fiercely mixed spirits routinely consumed with opiod-infused eight-ball during weekend benders, gay men are a formidable spectacle of nature that leave housewives yearning for their sensuality and straight dads jealous of their exotic, child-free...

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President Trump Blinded By Eclipse Glasses

Following the spectacle that was the Great American Eclipse this afternoon, word is now getting out that the President of the United States has suffered a “catastrophic loss” of his vision. According to White House insiders, Donald Trump was overheard scoffing at allegations of intentional sabotage in many shipments of...

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Obama Has Donned the Armor of Aphophis To Start the Moon Serpent Apocalypse of the Sun

History is being made as Barack Hussein O-bama has revealed mastery of an ancient Egyptian armor of Apophis. Obama is seen extending his hand in this image, threatening to smite a citizen for supporting Donald Trump’s defense of Confederate monuments. Eyewitnesses report Obama’s voice has suddenly started to “boom with...

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