I Am Extremely Terrified of Gay People, But I’m Not Racist

With their boundless energy, chiseled physiques and enhanced mental acuity from the surging hormones coalescing with fiercely mixed spirits routinely consumed with opiod-infused eight-ball during weekend benders, gay men are a formidable spectacle of nature that leave housewives yearning for their sensuality and straight dads jealous of their exotic, child-free...

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President Trump Blinded By Eclipse Glasses

Following the spectacle that was the Great American Eclipse this afternoon, word is now getting out that the President of the United States has suffered a “catastrophic loss” of his vision. According to White House insiders, Donald Trump was overheard scoffing at allegations of intentional sabotage in many shipments of...

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Obama Has Donned the Armor of Aphophis To Start the Moon Serpent Apocalypse of the Sun

History is being made as Barack Hussein O-bama has revealed mastery of an ancient Egyptian armor of Apophis. Obama is seen extending his hand in this image, threatening to smite a citizen for supporting Donald Trump’s defense of Confederate monuments. Eyewitnesses report Obama’s voice has suddenly started to “boom with...

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President Trump Strikes Bay Area with Heterosexual Chemtrails, Hundreds of Gays Cured of Homosexuality

Anonymous sources within the Trump administration report that President Trump has kept true to his campaign promise to Make America Great Again and successfully carried out several heterosexual chemtrail raids above the skies of gay-dense regions of the United States. Residents of California have recently complained about increased amounts of...

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Is God Attacking California With Torrential Rain and Floods For Defying President Trump?

Emboldened by liberties granted to them during the Obama regime, this week Californians are experiencing ‘pure chaos’ as their state is facing divine levels of wrath not seen since the historic Bush Presidency.  Scientists and religious scholars agree that the weather patterns in California are ‘apocalyptic’ and all the flooding,...

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Proof: Donald Trump Did Not Mock Reporter With Disability

Liberal media is trying to portray President-elect Donald Trump as a tormentor of the disabled when the facts show that he actually did not mock reporter Serge Kovaleski, but instead gave an impression of a liberal reporter dodging facts and trying to haphazardly gather credence to make themselves look legitimate. The...

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