Gay marriage has summoned Satan in the form of a fiery tornado that is currently ravishing the state of California.
Gays have invoked Biblical prophesy by getting married in the state of California. Despite numerous warnings from religious politicians, clergy and scientific scholars, California liberals voted to support gay marriage with ‘Proposition 8’ and had a head start in sullying the sanctity of marriage.
With the 400,000th gay marriage performed, California’s confirmed per capita rate of homosexuality crossed the moral threshold of 1%. Polling data from the Christian Defender League of California reports that an alarming 6 – 7% of the population is still either agnostic or secretive about their homosexuality, which means the official number could be much higher and Satan will only get stronger once he finds out.
Eyewitnesses report that nearly three days ago, a giant devil fire tornado suddenly burst out of open air, only several dozen feet from where a gay marriage had just been confirmed with vows and kissing of same gender lips. As the fire ripped through the air, shocked ‘onlookers from the wedding shrieked and fled, the smoldering ash from the flames tearing through their sharp designer clothes and fancy import cars.’
‘The searing winds reached speeds of up to 143 miles per hours, causing a dramatic scene of panic as the once neatly coiffed hair of the wedding participants was tossed and tumbled in dramatic fashion.’
The CDL of Texas released a statement: Scientific scholars warn that as more gay marriage is allowed, Satan’s power grows in direct proportion. The moral media community continually reports on how weather patterns show a direct correlation, with implies causation, with sin.
Eyewitness reports confirm that Obama may be taking advantage of the situation and trying to use the fires caused by the devil tornado by dumping homosexual chemtrails on the flame.
An unmarked plane can be seen dumping a raspberry-tinted ‘purple rain‘ over the fires. During the 1980s, the purple rain chemtrail was used to cure communist thoughts in liberal America. Since the Obama administration, however, the purple variant had additives known to cause intense homosexuality in those who get a few whiffs of it, so adding it to a devil fire tornado could have catastrophic effect if inhaled by straight men.
The Christian Defense League of California is warning residents to stock up on heavily meshed mask filters and seek medical attention if any of the spent smoke or ashes from this fire has reached the airways.