Exactly 7 days after Obama gave a speech before a crowd in Africa, eyewitnesses report a ‘day of darkness’ fell over the skies of Alexandria, Egypt.
Baffled scientists report a strange pyramid emerged from the sands of the ancient city. A concrete slab is reported to have ‘opened on its own’ and from the dark, dusty doorway a raspy chant of ‘Obama’s power’ emanated and could be heard from miles around.
The Egyptian government immediately ordered the top archaeologists to explore the site and they found an impressive sarcophagus. Within the cartouche, the Obama hieroglyphics were deciphered and a pool of ancient red liquid, resembling a juice, was found and photographed.
Scientists close with the CDL of Texas obtained a sample and report the chemical composition is similar to the Mars water Obama obtained from NASA in 2015, but this water has a different additive which many speculate may be an elixir of great power that can give those who imbibe powers similar to those that have been displayed by Obama.
Ancient Egyptologists warn that in the ancient times, it was not rare to have stories where corrupt god-kings would use elixirs to create cults of acolytes that would worship them in exchange for obtaining small glimpses of their Satanic powers. Obama has shown an ability to create light within his hands, to control the minds of the masses and reverse his age in the matter of hours and the fact is well accepted in the moral media community. Yet today, it seems that more and more liberals –especially gays– are starting to manifest these same fantastical powers and these ancient waters are only going to make them more powerful.
Obama’s followers have already signed a petition on change.org to force Egypt to turn the water over to them so they may drink it and become sons of Boethiah Obama, a rite promised in a script etched in the ruins of the pyramid.