Obama Has Donned the Armor of Aphophis To Start the Moon Serpent Apocalypse of the Sun

History is being made as Barack Hussein O-bama has revealed mastery of an ancient Egyptian armor of Apophis. Obama is seen extending his hand in this image, threatening to smite a citizen for supporting Donald Trump’s defense of Confederate monuments. Eyewitnesses report Obama’s voice has suddenly started to “boom with...

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An artist's rendition of the dangers of using improper eyewear for the eclipse.

Faulty Eclipse Glasses An Act Of Sabotage

A recent statement from a source within the offices of the Federal Trade Commission has garnered growing public interest. The FTC agent, who wishes to remain anonymous, let slip new information regarding the shipments of counterfeit eclipse glasses that made their way to American consumers this month. Many who bought...

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gay solar eclipse glasses aug 21st

ALERT: Gays Invent Photon-Bending Solar Eclipse Glasses To Convert Straight Men Into Homosexuality

Gays have pooled their vast resources and mastery of physics to unleash a plan that will convert many straight-family men into into homosexuality during the August, 21st solar eclipse. The Christian Defense League of Texas reports that gays have found a way to harness light energy to cause homosexuality to...

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president trump strike north korea fire fury power of homosexual chemtrails

Confirmed: President Trump Vows to Strike North Korea with Fire and Fury of Homosexual Chemtrails

During a televised statement, President Trump announced that North Korea will be struck with unprecedented ‘fire and fury’ the likes of which the world has never seen, the devastating power of said strikes destroying North Korea forever. Insiders with knowledge of the White House confirm that the strikes will not...

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President Trump Strikes Bay Area with Heterosexual Chemtrails, Hundreds of Gays Cured of Homosexuality

Anonymous sources within the Trump administration report that President Trump has kept true to his campaign promise to Make America Great Again and successfully carried out several heterosexual chemtrail raids above the skies of gay-dense regions of the United States. Residents of California have recently complained about increased amounts of...

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