Gay Hairstylists Trick Donald Trump Into Top Knot, Texas Pastors Unleash Prayer to Counter Possible Homosexuality

Study: Despite Massive Outpouring of Thoughts and Prayers, Gun Violence Continues to Rise in America

Officials with the Christian Defense League of Texas are in absolute shock after a new scientific study found that despite massive outpourings of thoughts and prayers following catastrophic displays of gun violence, it seems that gun violence only grows more and more severe in the United States. In a released...

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Trump Orders Congress to Cut $1 Billion from FEMA So He Can Secretly Pay For Border Wall With US Dollars

President Donald Trump has threatened to shut down the government if Congress does not pay for the border wall by cutting $1 billion dollars needed for disaster relief from FEMA’s budget. The fiscal year that has the economy improving and jobs being created is still the budget agreed upon by...

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I Am Extremely Terrified of Gay People, But I’m Not Racist

With their boundless energy, chiseled physiques and enhanced mental acuity from the surging hormones coalescing with fiercely mixed spirits routinely consumed with opiod-infused eight-ball during weekend benders, gay men are a formidable spectacle of nature that leave housewives yearning for their sensuality and straight dads jealous of their exotic, child-free...

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Should Donald Trump Pardon Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin To Turn The Other Cheek for Minorities and Bring Peace and Unity to Humanity?

Now that President Donald Trump has allowed the healing to take place and turned the other cheek for the Hispanic community by pardoning Sheriff Joe Arpaio for assuming all people with Mexican features were illegals, it is time to ask an important question: where else can President Trump help angry...

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President Trump Blinded By Eclipse Glasses

Following the spectacle that was the Great American Eclipse this afternoon, word is now getting out that the President of the United States has suffered a “catastrophic loss” of his vision. According to White House insiders, Donald Trump was overheard scoffing at allegations of intentional sabotage in many shipments of...

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Obama Has Donned the Armor of Aphophis To Start the Moon Serpent Apocalypse of the Sun

History is being made as Barack Hussein O-bama has revealed mastery of an ancient Egyptian armor of Apophis. Obama is seen extending his hand in this image, threatening to smite a citizen for supporting Donald Trump’s defense of Confederate monuments. Eyewitnesses report Obama’s voice has suddenly started to “boom with...

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