In this undated photograph, Trump oversees and stands in a field of pumpkins turned albino after FDA agents drained all the rich pumpkin-spice flavorings from them. According to a leaked memo, the nation’s supply of pumpkins will be drained of flavor as punishment if rich, white-women don’t ‘knock if off...
- Oct2018
Kansas Neighbors Complain Home Has Become ‘Relentlessly Gay’, Owners Respond By Making Home Gayer
October 4, 2018
Kansas – In a now viral social media post, a person describes an exchange between passively aggressive irate neighbors and the owners of a rainbow colored house. The letter reads: Dear Resident of __ Avenue, Your yard is becoming Relentlessly Gay! Myself and Others in the neighborhood ask that you...
Report: Trump, Kavanaugh Caught Giving Mitch McConnell a Swirly
October 4, 2018
Eyewitness reports from the White House allege that Senate Majoriy Leader Mitch McConnell was the recent victim of a classic swirly delivered by President Donald Trump and Judge Brett Kavanaugh. The incident purportedly took place late Monday night, after Trump and Kavanaugh threw back a few beers and recalled nostalgic...
President Trump Successfully Tests National Cell Phone Alert to Warn Against Obama’s Attacks on Christianity
October 3, 2018
At 1:18 pm, President Trump tested his new cell phone messaging system that allows him to send Tweets and warnings right to your phone. After Obama’s apocalyptic summoning of Hurricane Florence, which devastated the Christian state of Carolina, displaced 500 million people and destroyed thousands of churches, it has become...
President Trump To Throw Unmarried Foreign Gays Out of Country
October 3, 2018
Of all Gods creations on Earth, the lone gay wolf is perhaps the most venerable. Exotic, wild-eyed and lusty. Armed with this knowledge, President Trump today announced that all non-married foreign gays have until December 31st to get married, or they will be thrown out of the US. For years...
- Sep2018
Is North Korea Wooing President Trump with Homosexuality?
September 30, 2018
Over the last few months, President Trump revealed that Kim Jong Un has sent him ‘love letters’ and after reading these letters, he and Kim are ‘in love’. The shocking revelation from Trump is the latest evidence that the gay community has developed an ink that contains homosexual chemtrails. Moles...
As Obama Looted, President Trump Saves Two Kittens During Hurricane Florence
September 26, 2018
In this undated photograph, President Trump can be seen rescuing two kittens while in the background Obama is looting name brand fabrics from the Hurricane Florence flood zone. President Trump visited the Carolinas over the weekend to survey the damage from Obama’s Hurricane Florence. The devastation was unreal and Biblical: ...
Following Laughter At His Speech, Should President Trump Declare War on the U.N.?
September 25, 2018
Today the United Nations once again failed to know their place in the world’s power hierarchy. President Trump stated, “In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country.” Instead of the UN world leaders standing and fearfully applauding the...
Should Eminem Be Arrested for Killing MGK’s Career Will Killshot Diss Track?
September 15, 2018
In the rappity dapper world, a new battle is brewing between my old nemisis Eminem and some millenial who called himself MGK. Our ebonics intern helpes translate the words and they are just brutal. The anger of Eminem gave me flashbacks of the early 90s, where as a young beat...
Obama’s Hurricane Florence Leaves 500 Million Without Power, Destroys Christianity in South Carolina
September 15, 2018
Moral news outlets report breaking news of Obama’s summoned Hurricane Florida. Eyewitnesses report the storm is apocalyptic, the likes of which were never seen before. A team of super Christians attempted to build a prayer wall of energy to block the storm, but Obama’s dark power has grown too strong....