The Obamalipse, as it is now being called in conservative social media, marks the first day that Obama will be able to show all the true powers and abilities religious and social commentators have attributed to him. Moral historians believe Obama has completed all the necessary prerequisites for the ‘Rite of Ra’s Throne’, meaning that he will inherit all the powers of Ra as described in ancient texts.
Reports from operatives in Egypt and Kenya report that acolytes of Obama are already doing ancient worship ceremonies and laying the foundation for a giant pyramid to be built in his honor.
During the middle of the day, any and all who dare look into the blotted light with unshielded eyes shall be blinded and for all eternity, have the O for ‘O-bama’ burned into their eye. The O was given to the Bama family during a rites ceremony in Kenya. The name was given by the Lu-O people, whose name is literally translated to the ‘Arrangers of the Night Sky.’
As described in other texts, mystic ceremonies are common among these people and ancient artifacts report that ‘powerful scholar priests who could control the night sky in such away that they could control even the light of the sun’. This can be interpreted that the Lu-O people found a way to steal the power of the ancient god Ra, which moral scholars reported Obama was gathering artifacts over the last 8 years to achieve just that.
Now, on the day of the solar eclipse, O-bama will fulfill prophesy as the next chose one of the Lu-O people. He will use his control over the moon to absorb the powers of the Sun (Ra), and with that, achieve an ancient power that will allow him to control the world and cause all sorts of calamity for those who dare stand in his way.
Beware and be safe.