Residents of California have recently complained about increased amounts of ‘dense trails of smoke’ overhead that emanate from airplanes, including a plane resembling Air Force One. Scientists representing the Christian Defense League of Texas — who regularly monitors weather patterns and anomalies — confirm increased photographic evidence of linear cloud formation consistent with ‘expected’ payloads to reduce American homosexuality.
Political analysts reveal that President Trump’s alleged chemtrail strikes against regions were large numbers of males have contracted homosexuality explain his indifference toward the recent SCOTUS decision to allow gay marriage. Washington think-tanks reveal that the post neo-con movement no longer cares about the legal ramifications of gay marriage since there is now a scientific process in place to cure the US population of homosexuality, making the SCOTUS-ruled legal precedent irrelevant.
Eyewitnesses in several gay locales report at approximately 12:07 am, numerous sweaty, leather-clad fights broke out in gay clubs as hulking men in various stages of undress fought each other, shocked to find themselves sharing drinks, fiercely gyrated dance moves and muscle-bound embrace.
The CDC confirms that within the past month, per-capita homosxuality rates have decreased by an average of 3.9% nationwide. Washington state, California and Texas are the hardest hit. Census data also reveal numerous gay bars and hang-outs have been forced to file bankruptcy and close their doors due to lack of customers.
The CDL of Texas recommends medical clinics nationwide to expect an influx of men suffering from post-homosexuality changes, the quick conversion of homosexuality to heterosexuality oft leaving the men confused, exhausted and starving for fatty foods. Friends of gay people are encouraged to check on their well-being, to see if they have been cured of their homosexuality and are displaying any signs of post-traumatic syndrome.