Of great concern is that over 1 million people, mostly men, are expected to attend Rockin’ New Years Eve festivities in New York City. When the ball drop at midnight, it will be confused lisped renderings of Aude Lang Syne mixed with same-sex kissing all over the nation. Such a ‘massive moment of concurrent homosexuality is unprecedented’, reports Dr. Dan Clarke of the CDL.
The CDL of Texas is warning men to treat the fireworks like a total solar eclipse and not to look into it. Gays have mastered a way of using light pattern signals to short-circuit the part of the brain that blocks a male from embracing his homosexuality. When mixed with chemicals in the New Years Eve ball and fireworks, the scents and lights are making men lusty and yearning for foreign DNA from another man.