Granbury, Texas – Christian freedom fighters in Texas have successfully launched the first counter-offensive to the aftermath of Obama’s Jade Helm invasion.
On July 15th, Obama wasted no time smothering Texan skies with homosexual chemtrails emitted from high-velocity jets and B-59s. These missions proved devastating to Texas and other Christian strongholds in America, the nation largely accepting gay marriage overnight and jailing Christians who tried to protect the traditional family.
But early last week, sources reveal that secret meetings between the Vatican and former President George W. Bush took place. Scientists working for the Vatican engineered a new type of fumata bianca (the white smoke that emerges after a papal conclave) in such a way that it reduces the symptoms of induced homosexuality. The new counter-weapon is being called Christian chemtrails.
Farmers with ties to President Bush agreed to fly sorties with their cropdusters. Only hours later Christians in the town were seen holding signs and picketing the court house, demanding ‘Religious Freedom’ and again threatening to not issue marriage licenses to gay couples.