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Genetically Engineered Beluga Whales Are Attacking Christian Families with Homosexual Chemtrail Water at Seaworld

beluga whales sea world
beluga whales sea world

The genetically engineered beluga whale is showing all the classic hallmarks of homosexuality:   rippling abs that shamelessly glisten in the waters beneath the summer sun, a healthy rose hue of the skin and a unnerving desire to expose Christian families to homosexuality.

The disturbing image from Seaworld in Texas is the latest evidence that Obama’s Jade Helm invasion to enforce gay marriage in the state has many battlefronts.

Sources within Seaworld report the ‘rose pink beluga’ is genetically engineered and was sent to the waterpark via the US Parks Service, which is controlled by the Obama administration.

The beluga whale shows an unnatural pink skin, an exhibit of genetically engineered homosexuality first found in pink river dolphins.

As temperatures soared to nearly 100 degrees in San Antonio, the families gathered at the water park for last moments of summer fun were shocked to find the whale aggressive, muscular and spritzing rainbow colored cold water from its mouth.

Somehow within the beluga whale, normal water is laced with homosexual chemtrails .  The animal is then trained to find probable Christian families in the crowd and then spray them with torrents of the water that quickly soaks into the skin.

Eyewitnesses report that moments after the whale sprays over swaths of the screaming crowds, men start showing signs of homosexuality.  Their eyes linger on the male figures of the animal trainers.  They get irritable toward their family and seem to make eye contact with other fathers and men in the crowd.

Until further notice the Christian Defense League of Texas is warning families to travel to Seaworld with the precaution that gays are using animals to bring homosexuality to the American family.  It may be best to boycott seaworld until the homosexually engineered animals are removed from the water parks.

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Comments(134)

  1. Reply
    Arthur says

    I love satire but it is so challenging for some to perceive I try to avoid using it. What a wonderful ploy and keep them voming!

  2. Reply
    Kiba says

    I kind of wanted to see outraged comments from people who thought this was real.

    • Reply
      Krystal says

      then look below your comment, at “texas pride” post and all the nuts that agree with it lmfao

      • Reply
        Nancy H-T says

        I believe that comment and its replies are also satire.

      • Reply
        Mon says

        Krystal, Texas Pride’s comment is clearly satire too! 😀
        (though there’s one or two nuts underneath taking it seriously and “agreeing”..)

  3. Reply
    Texas Pride says

    Obama, you listen up here. Just because we were ready for your little Jade Helm invasion do not think we are so distracted we are going to become a FREE GAY state. I remember reading about those pink river dolphins down in Louisiana a few years back so I’m not really so surprised to see this going on at Seaworld. I guess I know one more place me and mine WILL NOT BE GOING in addition to Disney land which is also trying to peddle GAYMARRIAGE onto good American families against OUR WILL and GODS WILL.

    • Reply
      human says

      Are you seriously that ignorant? Like for real’s?

      • Reply
        Cass says

        What really makes me upset is how liberals and Obama don’t have any respect for Christians. Here is an analogy. You are at the park with your 3-year-old daughter and suddenly a huge doberman runs up to your daughter and starts jumping on her.

        At this point any reasonable parent would be upset and grab their daughter, but there is always that dog owner who is like, “Oh, don’t worry about Bubblebark. She is just such a nice and playful dog.”

        No! I don’t want your dog off its leash or jumping on my kid, yet there are selfish people who don’t respect that. There are leash laws for a reason and there are marriage laws for a reason.

        The analogy is that if Christians are scared of gay marriage attacking their family, just like that doberman in the park, it doesn’t matter how comfortable or friendly the owners of gay marriage think it may be.

        The fact remains that there are millions of families scared of gay marriage and we don’t know if it may jump and attack us. I say gay marriage must be kept on a leash and away from our families, the Defense of Marriage Act says it and the Supreme Court’s opinion on the matter must be overturned.

        • Reply
          anon says

          The fact is that there are millions of families that are morally retarded because of the bible and they dare to say that the bible teaches morality. O, the irony.

          Of course Obama doesn’t have much respect for religion since he’s an atheist/agnostic. He will never admit it though since that would kill your ratings in America.

          If parents wouldn’t indoctrinate their children with religion we wouldn’t have had this issue at all.

          Although your post may be satire in itself 🙂

          • Thomas Stone says

            I’m not sure I follow your analogy. You think a marriage certificate is going to attack you?

        • Reply
          Vincent says

          I appreciate your post. But to use your analogy, OK, let’s say there is a doberman, and maybe it is scary, because you have never met it before. But it is not jumping on your daughter, it is just walking along happily with its owner; it has no plans to attack your daughter at all, unless she starts taunting it and throwing things at it.
          It’s somewhat remarkable really, considering the doberman has been locked up for years, having not even been able to leave the house for its own fears of being attacked, marginalised or being shunned. You’d think it would be angry, but no, it forgives those who fear it — not that it wasn’t extremely hurt by their prejudice — because it’s just happy to be free.
          Of course, actually, there is no doberman at all; there are two people who love each other and want to have their relationships legally recognised and not be treated with indignity or marginalised

          • Cass says

            I appreciate your comment as well, but your logic is a bit fallacious here. The original analogy I made is on point because no matter if the doberman is vicious or not, it should not have access to my family.

            Since gay marriage is temporarily legalized, it will now be forced into public schools, institutions to which all people should have access. Just like I don’t want my child bit by a doberman, I don’t want them forced to be exposed to gay marriage. Just think about when they are teens and are going through human anatomy classes. Schools will now have to teach about gay and lesbian intercourse. All students will be forced to learn this, in addition to traditional education on those subjects. It is not right to force students to learn such things.

        • Reply
          Matthew says

          Um, the Supreme Court’s ruling cannot be overturned. The Supreme Court is the ultimate authority in law, and ruled that banning marriage based on sexuality is unconstitutional. There is no higher authority. That’s why they are called Supreme. Get over it. Gay marriage isn’t harming you in any way. Gay people are not harming you in any way. Keep your Christianity in your homes, churches and social groups, and out of our schools, laws and faces. Just because you have a religion doesn’t mean the rest of us have to have the same beliefs as you, and attempts to force us to believe the same things only make you look stupid. And hateful.

          • Cass says

            The ruling CAN be overturned. Surprising, right? This can be done one of two ways:

            1) The Supreme Court rules on another case in a manner contradictory than the current ruling.
            2) Congress and the States can overturn a decision by amending the Constitution.

            Here is a list that shows the Supreme Court rulings that have been overturned: http://money.howstuffworks.com/10-overturned-supreme-court-cases.htm

          • Krystal says

            Totally agree. Religion (christians) put my people into Residential schools and mistreated them. If that’s what religion does to one, I don’t want no part of it. They say they believe in Jesus, yet don’t follow his good teachings, he didn’t hate.
            That thing said “millions of families scared of gay marriage and we don’t know if it may jump and attack us.” Like wtf. Must be hell living in fear when you don’t have to. You can’t fix stupid. Like seriously, how does gay marriage harm or effect them? I just don’t get it.
            I say if your against gay marriage, then don’t marry the same gender!! ahaha

          • Sharon says

            Bravo!! Matthew……I’m 77 and love the Supreme Court’s decision. I am also a Christian and have been all my life. I think it is ridiculous that, somehow, people think Gays will infiltrate their lives and ruin them. If anything, it will clear their hearts and minds of racism. Love is beautiful between Gays or Straight. Who are you to Judge? I say, teach your children about all sexual combinations or they are not ready for the real world….I have many grandchildren and greats, and I would love to have you listen to their positive conversations about gays, straight and transgender. It would brighten your day and make your realize that the world is NOT just for male and female marriage. God created ALL of us and please don’t feel like you “have a corner on the market” for just your kind of relationship…..

          • George says

            Get over it. Straight marriage isn’t harming you in any way. Straight people are not harming you in any way. Keep you homosexuality in your homes, bars, and social groups, and out of our schools, laws and faces. Just because you have a sexual orientation doesn’t mean the rest of us have to have the same beliefs as you, and attempts to force us to believe the same things only make you look stupid. And hateful.

        • Reply
          James says

          Gay marriage only affects gay people, now crawl back to your flyover state and take a seat, you oppressive hater.

          • Cass says

            Gay marriage affects everyone. Those behind the gay rights movement like to gloss over this fact. The primary thing I can think of, wanting kids in the future, is that public schools will be forced to indoctrinate students in the inner-workings of gay lifestyle and marriage. That is not fair for Christian families and Christian families have every right to be in public schools, not having their moral upbringing destroyed by some liberal agenda.

          • Krystal says

            I concur lol
            These haters will have gay or lesbian children/grandchild or some kind of eye-opener, karma’s a bitch.

          • Zach says

            Wtf Cass.

            ” is that public schools will be forced to indoctrinate students in the inner-workings of gay lifestyle”

            It would be normal sex education. Why would that qualify as “indoctrination”!? Does it currently count as indoctrination with the sex education that is in our public education!? Are you envisioning them playing gay porn and being like “you should try this!”. Fucking moronic, man.

            “That is not fair for Christian families and Christian families ”

            How!?

            First off a wall of separation of church and State is a fundamental principle of America. So catering to Christian in our public education is what’s NOT fair. Literally. No one religion is to be elevated above another religion [or non-religion]. Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with this and erroneously believe USA is a “Christian Nation”.

            Secondly, what are you envisioning!? Truly. This “indoctrination” is nothing more than including the awareness of the existence of these orientations in the normal sex education curriculum. That’s it.

            The irony with your sentiment is the fact religion is hell bent on indoctrinating children to keep the wheels turning.

        • Reply
          Astley Jr. says

          Say Cass, that is a nice post.
          And can I add
          That
          I
          Respect
          Everything you just said.

          • CassIsTrolling says

            It’s funny because the Christian Agenda has been destroying this country for over a century.

          • TheLevel says

            Cass, uh… separation of church and state? Unless you want law crawling it’s way back into your religion, stop propagating the idea of your religion dictating what should be law.

          • Cass says

            It is good to know the moral majority stands, just like President Nixon said it does.

          • Emrys says

            @CassIsTrolling – clearly, you are correct. Its posts are *far* too well-written to have come from the mind & keyboard of a true bull-leaver…

        • Reply
          Uh no... says

          That is a horrible analogy. A dog attacking your child harms them. People being able to marry those they love is not going to harm your child. If she is gay, she will benefit from it. If not, it doesn’t affect her at all.

          A better analogy is: I don’t like black people. I think they will be harmful to my child even though there is no proof of that. So I want black people to be banned from the park where my child plays. Horrible, right?

          • Cass says

            Wrong. Gay marriage and thus gay education will be forced into public schools, where the authority of Christian parents will be challenged by an agenda.

            Gay rights are not synonymous with the plight of African-Americans in going through slavery and being discriminated against because the color of their skin.

            Teaching African-American history highlights the achievements of miraculous people and stops there. Every child should know about Frederick Douglas, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Langston Hughes…the list goes on and on. And for gay rights, there have been many noble people that should be in history books.

            The problem with gay marriage is that it transcends celebrating people are just a topical discussion of lifestyle. Gay marriage naturally brings up the dynamics of family, procreation and the education that goes with that.

            What I’m getting at is with gay marriage legalized, students will for instance be forced to learn about what goes on in the gay bedroom. It may make them curious. This is offensive to Christian parents and the values instilled in them, but it will have to be taught to ‘equally’ teach students about gonad options they have in their future, how to be safe in their relationships, and how to be ‘safe’ about it.

          • Patti says

            So Cass, how do you intend to shelter your children from gay people? They are all around you and I will bet you have friends AND family members who are gay, whether you are aware of them or not. Schools don’t teach classes on heterosexual marriage, so why would you think schools will now teach classes on homosexual marriage? Same sex marriage has absolutely NO effect on you or your marriage at all, unless you are gay. Your fears are completely unfounded.

          • Jennie says

            Let’s all leave Cass alone. She just wants the God-given freedom to teach her children to hate the people she hates. Just like Jesus would.

            God forbid someone in a classroom teaches one of her possibly gay children that they were actually normal and born the way they were. That they do not need to spend their lives in a self-hating charade, marrying someone of the opposite sex out of fear of familial rejection. I shudder to think. Cass should be able to shield her children from that horrific liberal knowledge, and keep them wrapped in a cocoon of ignorance, fear, and hatred. Amen.

        • Reply
          DERP says

          that analogy works…

          if you’re a knuckle-dragging potato smoking trailer-park dwelling mouth-breathing cunt.

          looks like you fit the bill?

        • Reply
          david says

          That’s ridiculous! My dog should be allowed to hump any leg it wants! It’s a free country!

          • cooter says

            f***in a

        • Reply
          John says

          Hey people. give it up. Cass is oblivious to the nonsense she is spouting. The fact that there is no evidence or reality to any of her concerns is not relevant. Her nature is to hate and fear and demonize those who are different. for that reason, religion really works for her. It gives her a text written by charlatans thousands of years ago as a basis for being a hater.
          Sadly, she will never be able to face the truth that she is neither a good christian nor a good person. Either she believes that Jesus was a hateful person who demonized others (like she does) or she knows that Jesus was in fact tolerant and focused on loving your neighbor — and she just doesnt want to do it.

        • Reply
          Rocker says

          Wait, Wait, Wait. Instead of replying to every little comment, let me just do it in one lump sum straight at the source. I see Christianity as this theoretical “Doberman”(Though the breed is far more tame and well behaved than the religion they are temporarily replacing) I wouldn’t want it forced upon my child, Leashed or not. I’d much rather take my child to the pet store and let them pick out their own dog (I.E. Experience life and choose their beliefs on their own.)

          You have the right to your opinions, true, but as do I. And I don’t think Christianity should be put in public schools, I don’t think my children should be forced to hear about it, experience it, or see anything even related to it. Not of other choices are not presented to them. This is, (Wait for it, another analogy is coming) like sitting in the lunchroom day after day with the same thing on the menu you’re entire life. You cannot taste all these other wonderful things the world has to offer, you’re stuck with the same bland thing, making you a bland, ignorant person.
          But one thing I will agree on, is Gay Marriage does effect more than just Gays. Now you no longer have to listen to them fight for their god given right. But now you get to go against your own religion and judged them twice as much, Hate on them, harm them, and just straight up bitch like children. It’s distasteful in every possible fashion. Christians want to keep the world in a moral and unideal stone age, just to maintain their greedy power and control over everyone, showing wrath towards those who oppose them, and envy for those who have a better health of life. Gluttonously trying to fuel their own fire, letting those they are suppose to be caring for starve. Whilst their religious leaders lust after children. All the while the cult as a whole standing with pride. Though like a sloth, doing nothing to better the world they’d rather sit back and watch it burn due to their own mistakes.

          People are people, so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully? Answer me that.

          • John says

            First, the seven deadly sins aren’t in the bible.
            Second, did you just quote Dope?

        • Reply
          Keri says

          Cass… while each person out there has their own opinions about gay marriage… the fact is, you’re a moron. Gay marriage will not effect you because it’s been around for eons… same sex marriage in one form or another has been part of human society since we evolved from neanderthals… just because… and I use this term with all the sarcasm is have in me… “good Christian families” believe otherwise doesn’t make them correct… that book of yours has many flaws whether or not you want to admit it. Oh? And to make a comment to your response here about sex ed in schools… we already have an issue with s*x ed being taught as abstinence only education… we need to teach our children everything from how it works to the diseases that can be spread and ways to prevent those and to prevent pregnancy if desired… kids aren’t learning enough in those classes these days… i didn’t when I was in school 15 years ago… and btw… my health and s*x ed teacher was a lesbian… and I’m still straight… so can you tell me how I magically didn’t get infected with the “gay virus”… lol
          .. you cant… because your whole world view is epically flawed and gay isn’t contagious or harmful in any way you bigoted lunatic! !!

          • Cass says

            That is not fair to say ‘you are a moron’. Nowhere did I disparage your name and try to use fallacious tactics to make my point. Gay marriage is attacking the nuclear family, just like an unleashed doberman. The analogy is apt and traditional families have every right to fear a dog not on its leash. I love dogs, but I just want them on a leash for my family’s safety.

        • Reply
          Old Hippie says

          It does strike me as just a little more than humorous, comparing leash laws to marriage, of course that’s just me.

        • Reply
          Peter says

          I’m soooo sorry Cass, that your children will learn about the real world and everything in it, and not grow up to be closed-minded bigots.

        • Reply
          Rich says

          “Since gay marriage is temporarily legalized, it will now be forced into public schools, institutions to which all people should have access.”

          Religion has been legalized for a lot longer, and is being forced upon my children virtually every minute of every day. Yes, unlike you, I believe enough in my children and in my parenting skills to trust them to know how to make good decisions for themselves, in all matters.

          Apparently, according to your statement, your kids aren’t very bright, and you ain’t much of a parent.

          • not an idiot says

            I find it amusing when you are commenting on how her children are not bright as you are using a word that doesn’t exist in the human language. Also, gay people have always been around and never hurt anyone unlike u Christian ducks who start wars and kick people off their own land. If u don’t want ur kids exposed to the gay send them to Christian school. Eventually they will learn about homogenous and most likely will from their own opinions. As for the leash law the Christians against gay rights could always use it to hang themselves. Then they wouldn’t have to live in this god awful world that Finaly accepts human beings as just that!

          • John the Atheist says

            Not an idiot, your comment about Rich’s grammar is stupid. The contraction, “ain’t” is a word. It means “am not” or “are not”. It is a generally accepted form of the English language. Try looking something up before correcting someone.

        • Reply
          Bob says

          I’m a vegetarian and your family’s freedom to eat meat threatens my family’s freedom and rights. Likewise, I’m Christian. People being free to be Jewish threatens my family’s beliefs and freedoms.

          It doesn’t mater how comfortable or friendly those who meat or Jewish are.

          Eating meat and being Jewish are forced into public schools, institutions to which all people should have access. Just like I don’t want my child bit by a doberman, I don’t want them forced to be exposed to meat or Jews. Just think about when they are teens and are going through classes that teach about things that real and exist. Schools will now have to teach about things that exist. All students will be forced to learn this, in addition to traditional education on those subjects. It is not right to force students to learn such things.

          • Cass says

            I have no problem with teachers teaching kids about vegetables and the nutritious values they bring to a daily diet. It is fine for our children to learn of other world religious. Both of your attempts to distract from the topic of ‘is it okay to teach our kids that coital stimulation from the same gender is just fine and without consequence’ is not productive in the scope of this conversation.

          • Gavin says

            Bob, I am both a Jew and a meat eater and I am soooo sorry that you feel threatened by my existence. I will try very hard to stay away from your vulnerable children but it will be difficult because my whole purpose in life is to convert others to meat eating Judaism. Oh, and I’m GAY too so I really am one scary dude!

        • Reply
          Kraeg says

          I don’t think you understand the meaning of analogy.

        • Reply
          Jon says

          What exactly is the ‘harm’ that you are equating with the harm that a doberman could inflict?

        • Reply
          rob says

          You are crazy! I’m not gay, and if gay people want to get married, they should. It’s none of your business. All my friends are straight, and they still cheat on each other, divorce and all the other crap. Get a life. Mine your own business and take care of your own family.

        • Reply
          John Vanderly says

          ‘…gay marriage attacking their family.’

          Um … how, exactly do you think this is going to happen? If you are not gay, then you don’t need to worry about same-sex marriage. If your marriage or family is threatened in any way by same-sex marriage then you have deep problems that no amount of laws or courts can fix.

        • Reply
          Dennis Martinez says

          Cass, let me calm your fears. Sexual lifestyles will not be taught in biology for the same reason that creationism is not taught along side of evolution. Reproductive science is what is taught. No one ever tried to teach me pick up lines or cunnilingus in biology, nor are straight girls taught fallatio. You didn’t learn that in school, did you?

        • Reply
          Jonathan says

          How does the fact that two people who love each other, two people that you don’t know, have got married affect your family? How do they “have access” to your family? Why is your family threatened by the marriage of two people that you don’t know?

        • Reply
          Jeff says

          Wow Cass. Have you had kids yet? If not, please don’t. The planet is simply already full of ignorant people.

          Your analogy is flawed on several levels. The first is that homosexuality doesn’t attack you. Ever. In any way, shape, or form. You don’t have to BE homosexual, you don’t have to engage in any homosexual acts and you don’t have to even be friends with any homosexuals, let alone worry about them trying to mount you on the street.

          Second, homosexual marriage doesn’t affect you at all, either. If you don’t want a homosexual marriage to affect you, don’t get gay married. Simple.

          But my guess is that you don’t understand this. You believe Christians are persecuted, too, don’t you? Even though they represent the majority of people on the planet.

          Vincent said it best – you should be happy that gay people aren’t pushing for MORE than equality, as they’ve been discriminated against for the majority of history. If gay people followed the path of their african american brethren, they’d seek reparations – directly from bigots like you who work hard to keep them “on their leash” as you put it.

          Please take a healthy dose of “fuck off”. Thanks!

          • Cass says

            Homosexuality has already attacked my way of life. If I own a bakery, I now know the government can destroy my business if I refuse to make cakes with same gender- brides and dildoes on top of it. Why is this so hard to understand? There are people in this country who support the Constitution and the Constitution is based on the Bible. The forefathers were theists, they believed in God and refer to the Creator in the nation’s founding documents. Marriage is to be between a man and woman, nature makes that quiet clear. If the point of a species is procreation and continuation of the species, then how is homosexuality a natural part of that plan?

        • Reply
          Zach says

          I just would like to take a moment to congratulate you on possibly the most insanely paranoid comment I’ve ever read regarding gay marriage. I mean you just skipped right over the usual boring moralizing that typically accompanies anti-gay rhetoric and constructed something so completely absurd and delusional that I’m still grappling with whether or not you actually believe it. It’s either satirical genius or another step in the evolution of anti-gay rhetoric in which people have gradually gone from victimizing to becoming the victims in their own heads.

          • Jon says

            ‘There are people in this country who support the Constitution ”

            True and I am one.

            “…and the Constitution is based on the Bible. ”

            Incorrect.

            “The forefathers were theists, ”

            Incorrect.

            ” Marriage is to be between a man and woman, nature makes that quiet clear.”

            Incorrect.

            “If the point of a species is procreation and continuation of the species, then how is homosexuality a natural part of that plan?”

            Suddenly you’re all about biology and evolution?

            OK, but about that… it is not a sin for any members of a species to not procreate even the in eyes of evolution, which you apparently suddenly hold so in such high esteem.

        • Reply
          stainlesssteel says

          @Cass July 24, 2015 at 6:36 pm

          “if Christians are scared of gay marriage attacking their family, just like that doberman in the park, it doesn’t matter how comfortable or friendly the owners of gay marriage think it may be… I say gay marriage must be kept on a leash and away from our families…”

          Illogic: Your fear of “gay marriage attacking” is not based on fact and/or logic. You don’t get to take away others’ rights because of your paranoid fantasies that:
          * gays are under every rock trying to convert your children
          * even knowing about gays being married will instantly turn them gay
          * there is something wrong with being gay

          By the same logic, i could imagine given your fear of gays, you might think I’m gay, and might use your Christian “values” to justify killing me. It doesn’t matter how comfortable or friendly you are with your paranoid fantasies. I could claim you need to be prohibited from speaking about your Christianity, and kept on a leash and away from me and my family.

        • Reply
          Melpomene says

          Although I don’t identify as Liberal(I think labels do more harm than good) I have a lot of respect for Christians even though I myself am not one. People who devote their life to being Christ-like is a high calling indeed. He fed the poor whilst asking nothing from them. He treated people from all walks of life, even prostitutes, very well. He gave out free health care to any and all who needed it. He taught love and tolerance and told us not to judge. All of these are very, very worthy qualities for a human being to aspire to.

          However, I have met very true people I would consider Christian in my decades of life on this planet, while I have met many to purport to be so, they did not live as such.

          Whether you are Christian or not I cannot answer, I do not know you well enough to determine such a thing for myself. Your words, however, lead one to believe you are not what I personally would consider a true Christian. I admit, my standards are very high, I expect one to try to live their life as closely to Christ’s teachings as possible.

          I am very sorry that you find that other consenting adults having the exact same rights as you so offensive. I’m not sure what prompts you to feel you are more important than anyone else in the world, but I am sure you have your reasons for feeling you are so superior to other people. I wonder how Christ would react to your feelings of superiority and special privilege? As for me, I think he’d respond rather similarly to how he reacted to money lenders in the temple. But, I am not Christ and cannot say for sure how he would react. I can only imagine based on what I know of him.

          As for your concerns of homosexual intercourse being taught in schools, I don’t think you need to worry about that. Heterosexual marriages have been formally recognized by churches and governments quite widely for more than 2000 years and most schools still only teach abstinence, even though we know for a fact such teachings lead to high rates of STDs and teen pregnancies. And, as most sex acts performed by homosexual couples can and are also performed by heterosexual couples it wouldn’t change much even if such things were taught in school.

          Let’s be honest for a moment. A marriage is a legal contract between two people(and if they have one their god as well) if single people, asexuals, priests, nuns, widows and widowers don’t feel attacked by heterosexual marriages then they should feel no more attacked by homosexual marriages. Both marriage types effect them in exactly the same way. There is no difference.

          Religous belief is not the same as a right. You can feel that something is wrong according to your religion without feeling it should be illegal. There are literally millions of examples of this. We don’t ban seafood, pork, work on the Sabbath, adultery, or disrespecting elders. It also doesn’t work in reverse, just because the Bible states we should stone certain people, have slaves, beat our wives, or have numerous wives doesn’t mean we should do that.

          Religion has its place, as does it’s tenants. But, just because people behave and believe differently than you do does not mean you’re being attacked. It just means that your wonderfully brilliant God thought having all people thinking and acting alike would make for a boring world. How genius.

        • Reply
          Larrysez says

          The thing that I love most about this entire thread is that I honestly cannot tell the “serious” comments from the sarcastic and/or ironic ones. LMFAO.

          • Gavin says

            I agree Larrysez the whole thing is hysterical!

        • Reply
          Elle says

          Your post makes my head hurt, are you really posting such asinine drivel? It’s satire FFS. Go find your people on a Fox News site and leave me and Bubblebark (seriously!!??) alone.

        • Reply
          FrancoUnamerican says

          HAhahaha Are you serious ?!?!? Of course you are you’re a american christian !! Gay marriage attakcing family ? seriously? how can you even conceive that?
          You need to start thinking about what you look like in the eye of the others West country… Seriously just a bunch of moron who get boners for God (his real name is Steve anyway)

        • Reply
          Dan says

          So if I am scared of you and your religious fundamentalism, does that give me the right to ask the government to put a leash on you? Since apparently you are of the opinion that we should be able to go through life without ever being exposed to anything we personally disagree with, I think I should be allowed to petition the government to lock YOU away because I disagree with your lifestyle.

        • Reply
          Jerry says

          Here’s an analogy.

          Gay people walking through Salt Lake City Bangin on doors wanting to talk about their beleifs…….how will you christians feel about that??

          There is nothing a christian hates more than when people act just like they do.

        • Reply
          Ummm says

          I had hoped your comment was also satirical, but now I see you’re totally serious – which is disturbing. Schools will not be indoctrinating children for the gay agenda. I never learned about straight marriage or the heterosexual lifestyle in school, your kids won’t be learning gay education. If you’re so worried about it though, maybe you should homeschool like a lot of you religious freaks do these days. I am homeschooling so that my kid won’t be exposed to your kind.

        • Reply
          The Occasional Atheist says

          Millions afraid of gay marriage? So you admit you’re a homophobe? If you don’t like gay marriage then don’t marry a guy you twit.

          No gays are going to attack you unless you ask them to. Your analogy is ludicrous and shows you are an idiot.
          You have an unnatural fear of a gay boogie man. Perhaps you are secretly afraid of your own sexuality or more likely you’ve been brainwashed by religion and your tiny brain cannot grasp simple concepts.

          While a dog, leashed or otherwise, can attack your daughter, no gay man or lesbian woman will bother you or your daughter. Unless, of course, she wants one to. What would you think if your daughter turns out to like girls? Would you disown her? Cast her out or stone her like the bible tells you to?

          You are a pathetic excuse for a human and a bigot. I hope for your daughter’s sake you pull your head out of your ass before you poison her to humanity.

        • Reply
          Barton says

          What difference does it make if Gay people get married. Does it effect you or just offend you? Is it your place to judge? Let Him do the final judging! Your job is to love your fellow man, or did you forget the message of Jesus Christ? If you want to be a Christian, you have to act like Christ. He would not shun a sinner, why should you?

          However at some point something does need to be done about the attack that some gays are going on against everything religious. You won equal rights… not superior rights… take your new found holier than though attitude down a notch. You asked for equally rights, now let them have theirs.

        • Reply
          Morgan says

          Cass, please consider this.

          You are complaining that people don’t respect Christians.
          Yet in your analogy you have just compared homosexuals to dogs.
          These are human beings your talking about, people’s sons, daughters and friends.
          I assume based on the analogy you have that you have children yourself, would your child stop being human simply because of who she was attracted to?

        • Reply
          Josh fuckin morton says

          You are the finest piece of f***** I have ever wasted time to read an opinion of….you dumb shit too scared to chase your Hoover selling dreams as the years of rug munching youve endured has been force lay buried by your fucked up family who thinks marriage is ok but only if opposite sex….educate your fuckin self and try to sign, or spit or however the fuck your retarded family communicates to “in dumb ” your family name….dick shit…

        • Reply
          Jezmund says

          Um… That analogy doesn’t make any sense. Gay couples aren’t physically making contact with your kid while the dog is jumping all over her. Your Liberty stops at my body.

          A more appropriate analogy would be: There’s a public dog park where people bring their Dobermans, pit bulls, German Shepards etc. You’re fine with all the other dogs but you don’t want your daughter being near dobermans because you’re a bigoted, brainless redneck who was convinced by a mythology book written by Bronze Age goat herders that dobermans are evil. Well that’s too bad, as long as the Doberman isn’t harassing your child or making physical contact, you have no right to tell it to leave the PUBLIC park. If you don’t like it, go find a private park that bans Dobermans, but if you want to take place in PUBLIC life in a FREE country, you have to accept that ALL citizens are protected equally under the law. I don’t think you accept this though and you honestly don’t belong in this country. Btw, DOMA says nothing because it’s been repealed. And the SCOTUS changes their mind all the time- but only in one direction: to grant rights, not take them away.

        • Reply
          Uriel Fanelli says

          The gay marriage “attacking” the marriage?

          In practice, it means if your neighbors are gay, then you will divorce?

        • Reply
          Care says

          Please explain to me how a marriage between two consenting people of the same sex will affect your marriage? And please don’t give me that crap about pedophiles will want to marry kids and people will want to marry their pets because to me those two are mute and invalid points of arguments as neither children nor pets can consent to any kind of legal marriage. As a lesbian, we do not have any agenda other than to enter into something monogamous with our partner. To me, it’s as sacred a union as it is to any heterosexual person. To me standing in a court house and having a quickie Vegas style wedding for me takes away from the specialness of that day. From the time I was a small child, I dreamed of the day when I would get married. The only difference between you and I is when I dreamed of that day I saw myself marrying a woman. Again, tell me how a marriage between two consenting adults of the same sex affects that of a straight marriage? We aren’t going door to door asking you all to come and live forever in a big rainbow gay and lesbian paradise on earth and we aren’t preaching the gospel of Sir Elton John lol. Just like heterosexuals there are gays and lesbians who sleep around and don’t give a crap. BUT, there are more same sex individuals who believe in staying with one person forever til death do you part.

        • Reply
          Lesley says

          Cass, your post brings to mind a story.
          A few years ago, I had a Christmas party at my house. I had two cats, and let all my guests know I had cats, in case they were allergic, etc. Since there were so many people making so much noise downstairs, the cats stayed out of sight upstairs.
          As the night wore on and people left, it grew quieter and one of my cats moseyed downstairs to visit and say hello. It turned out that one of my friends was deathly afraid of cats, and when my cat appeared, she panicked, threw her plate and utensils in the air and shook in mortal terror.
          Of course, I removed my cat for the time being, and she calmed down. But it was clear that where everyone else experienced a sweet cat simply walking through for a visit, my friend saw a ravenous, raging lion, waiting to devour her. Her fear obscured the reality of the situation.
          You say “millions of families are scared of gay marriage and don’t know if it may jump and attack us.” I would posit that like my friend, your FEAR is what is running your life, not the reality of the situation. How do your gay neighbors declaring and committing to love each other affect your family? That you must explain that some people are different from you — or maybe even that some people whose relationship LOOKS different than you are in fact the same, with the same desire to live in committed relationship with someone they love? In 1 Samuel, scripture says, the Lord does not look on outward appearance, but on the heart — in this case, hearts that want to love. Gay couples do not “attack” Christian families; they simply want to love each other in committed relationship that is recognized legally. That’s it. It’s only phobics that see something harmless and perceive a huge threat.

        • Reply
          TNPridebetch says

          I know, right?! This one time I was trying to walk my (Male) pitbull in the park near my house when, all of a sudden, this gay yorkiev with pink hair ties in its fur came up and started butt raping him. My dog wouldn’t leave the house for two years after that unless I shot him up with two to three marijuanas. Last week I came home to find four empty mj syringes and my dead dog, who finally had given up and decided to end it all. I’m still not quite sure how he injected himself, as my fiancee swears she didn’t push the plunger! To top it off, I’m now afraid to marry my fiancee for fear that she may be gay, or that some other gays might try to attack our holy marriage. What if they come over here with pitchforks and fishnet stockings, demanding we not be allowed to marry because we’re straight?! What if they decide gay marriage is the only marriage that Allah will permit, and won’t allow my fiancee on my insurance plan as a result?! What if they decide that, because I love a woman, I am evil, and they make my marriage illegal and tell me I’m going to hell for loving a woman?! Please Jesus protect my marriage, I don’t think I could stand the idea of someone else imposing their ridiculous, GAY beliefs on my life, when it has NO effect on theirs, AMEN.

    • Reply
      Carol Marie says

      //Obama, you listen up here.//
      Yes! I am sure he is sipping his coffee right now and reading your comment, directed at him, to listen up to you….

      • Reply
        Rich says

        Nope. It’s not just you. 🙂

    • Reply
      moralmedic says

      Just wait until 2016 and Obama is out of office, we are going to put these liberals in their place.

      If any of our guys win, be it Rubio, Bush or even Trump, the liberal agenda is going to fall and it will fall hard.

      We control Congress, most governors are Republican and the Supreme Court will likely lose two of their most liberal justices to age/retirement within a decade, which the Republican president will replace.

      So that gives conservative Americans a voice again, finally, in the White House, Congress and Supreme Court, all at once? Do you really think we are just going to let marriage go the way of liberal sickness? Is that what these radicals think is going to happen?

      2016 will be a year of political victory and a return to conservatism for America. These media liberals try to paint a picture like this country is some Eurozone Amsterdam state of marijuana hippies who are screaming for no wars and communism, but in reality we are still cut from the same cloth as our forefathers: moral, upright, will bring hell upon any force that tries to destroy our lifestyle, freedom and moral heritage.

      Just look at the last midterm elections. Republicans won in a majority, all campaigning on moral issues and economic stewardship. Democrats have a rude awakening coming and I cannot wait to see a Constitutional amendment that clarifies marriage is between A MAN AND WOMAN and to have the new Supreme Court verify it via ruling, so we can set this once and for all.

      Sure, gays can still be in a civil union, but it would not be a federally defined marriage. This is coming in 2016 and sorry democrats, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton can do nothing to help you. Once there is a Republican president, the wheels will be set in motion, the Supreme Court will become ultra-conservative and gay marriage will be frowned on by future scholars as one of the worst twists of law in US history, but it will be a twist that was righted.

      • Reply
        claudie says

        “Democrats have a rude awakening coming and I cannot wait to see a Constitutional amendment that clarifies marriage is between A MAN AND WOMAN and to have the new Supreme Court verify it via ruling, so we can set this once and for all.” — Hold your breath if you believe it so much. haha

      • Reply
        Ivan says

        Yes, Republicans did win in 2012, but if you look at raw numbers, more Americans voted for democratic candidates overall than they did Republicans. Gerrymandering allowed the victory in the house and senate, but it won’t win you the Presidency. Poll after poll shows the majority of the people support the “liberal agenda,” including marriage equality, which currently stands at near 60%. The right’s hatred and bigotry couched in Christianity is turning away young people in droves. According to Pew Research, “Based on 2014 data, 39% identify as independents, 32% as Democrats and 23% as Republicans. This is the highest percentage of independents in more than 75 years of public opinion.” Chew on those stats for a while.

      • Reply
        Old Hippie says

        Yes well you have me all, YAWN, upset and nervous. Tell me which when this doesn’t happen what will you do!?

      • Reply
        Patti says

        Good luck with that. Ain’t gonna happen.

      • Reply
        Sharon says

        You may control Congress, but you haven’t done a damn thing in 7 years except “close down the government”. People are sick of you right-wing nut cases needing to have “your” interpretation of God in every part of Government and Schools. He is also “my” same God, and I follow the Constitution which says there should be “separation of Church and State in our Country”. Are you smart enough to know what that means? If you want your child to know “your” God, teach them at home or take them to church. You, Conservatives, don’t have a prayer at taking the White House. Your “clown car” is so crowed with idiots, none of them will make it……The biggest repulsive clown is Donald…….and he will run as an Independent and split the Party. You don’t deserve the White House because of being total Obstructionists during Obama’s two terms. You haven’t even accepted the fact that it’s great for a black man to occupy the Presidency, for the first time in History.

      • Reply
        Bob says

        Together, we can ban gay marriage again, telling others how to live their lives. After all, telling others what they can do with their lives is what freedom is really about.

      • Reply
        Debbie says

        “Republicans won in a majority, all campaigning on moral issues and economic stewardship”? What have they done to stand on their platforms? They should try a little less talk and a lot more action…

    • Reply
      Stan Ubeki says

      I believe God wants us to evolve to the point where we don’t believe in him.

    • Reply
      stradie says

      Really? Texas Pride? (Gay Pride)
      Do you not only not have a sense of humor, but no brain as well? It’s a joke !! WOW some people are really dense. Lol lol lol lol!

    • Reply
      lou says

      You stupid intellectually challenged moron…this is SATIRE. seriously, are you really that dumb?

    • Reply
      Daniel says

      Dude you truly are a f**king moron

    • Reply
      The Occasional Atheist says

      You are ridiculous. You homophobic moron. You really think that any is trying to force gay marriage onto your family? Bigotry. The is no god so it doesn’t matter anyway. If you’re against gay marriage then don’t marry a guy.

    • Reply
      Carol says

      This whole article is a joke you moron. It is a spoof a satire. No such beluga whales exist. They do not spout rainbow water with chemicals in them that turn men into homosexuals. It is not possible to do so.

    • Reply
      Jakie says

      Lol so troll

    • Reply
      TNPridebetch says

      I know, right?! This one time I was trying to walk my (Male) pitbull in the park near my house when, all of a sudden, this gay yorkiev with pink hair ties in its fur came up and started butt raping him. My dog wouldn’t leave the house for two years after that unless I shot him up with two to three marijuanas. Last week I came home to find four empty mj syringes and my dead dog, who finally had given up and decided to end it all. I’m still not quite sure how he injected himself, as my fiancee swears she didn’t push the plunger! To top it off, I’m now afraid to marry my fiancee for fear that she may be gay, or that some other gays might try to attack our holy marriage. What if they come over here with pitchforks and fishnet stockings, demanding we not be allowed to marry because we’re straight?! What if they decide gay marriage is the only marriage that Allah will permit, and won’t allow my fiancee on my insurance plan as a result?! What if they decide that, because I love a woman, I am evil, and they make my marriage illegal and tell me I’m going to hell for loving a woman?! Please Jesus protect my marriage, I don’t think I could stand the idea of someone else imposing their ridiculous, GAY beliefs on my life, when it has NO effect on theirs, AMEN.

  4. Reply
    Walter Banner says

    Truly eye opening. I was wondering why I was being sprayed by colorful water, and why everybody was eye banging.
    I will share this to as many as I can, thank you very much. I will be sure to visit this website from now on.

  5. Reply
    Barnes Noble says

    Look at his eyes. He just looks so happy and proud to douse those people with that homosexual chemtrail water.

  6. Reply
    lol says

    this is stupid, how can people be this dumb?

  7. Reply
    Simon Stacey says

    The piece was funny… some of the comments are hilarious. Not sure if some of the people in this thread are trying to branch out into their own personal brand of satire (and if they are, they’re failing dismally…) – or if American Christians really are as retarded as I’ve always thought they seem…

    • Reply
      Keri says

      Honestly, I think it’s the latter sadly.

  8. Reply
    Bruce Gwarstein says

    These things spit all over me and my Jewish family! Antisemitic douche dolphins!

    • Reply
      Sharon says

      Love it, Bruce……

    • Reply
      stradie says

      So funny Bruce!

  9. Reply
    Fringe Wizard says

    I am not a Christian and yet I adamantly opposed to sexual deviancy including homosexuality far more than the vast majority of Christians. Why does this article rip on Christians when people of other faiths like me also really hate homosexuals?

    • Reply
      CAT says

      The very worst homophobes have been proven to be latent homosexuals who hate that aspect of themselves, is that what you are trying to admit to us?

      • Reply
        Fringe Wizard says

        @Cat
        That’s a really fucking stupid and tired meme. I am against sodomy and pretty much any kind of sex that is not for reproduction. I am an ascetic, an occultist, and celibate. Lust is a vice which distracts us and takes us away from the path towards God. Homosexuals have no excuse, they aren’t making children, they are just degenerates on the wrong path.

        @Ted Baily
        There is nothing wrong with hatred for vice and degeneracy. Hatred is a useful emotion just like love, and all emotions and desires are why the manifest universe exists, as all kabbalists know. Homosexuality and sexual deviancy in general is all wrong because it is a perversion of the generative principle. You should keep your mind and body pure and work your whole life to develop yourself and be able to operate upon and understand the higher planes of existence and its inhabitants.

        To me it only wrong not to use one’s emotions as they are given to us by God in order that we may experience the world, create within it, and remember it. Your emotions are why you can remember anything, which is why any emotionally intense event be it negative or positive in nature leaves a lasting imprint in your memory. All emotions should be used with reason too, anyone who says that emotions run contrary to reason is incorrect, the ideal man is a very emotive and cultured one. I would give Adolf Hitler as an example of an ideal man, someone we should all aspire to be, for he loved his people, gave very passionate speeches full of emotion, and had a very cultivated intelligence. Read “The Enigma of Hitler” to get a better idea.

        In my ideal world all the sexual deviants and non-whites and defectives will be exterminated and a race of spiritually and genetically perfected blonde haired blue eyed supermen will inherent the world. I myself am 6’4″, blue eyes, blonde haired, and have been secretly carrying on the legacy of National Socialism and ensuring the Fourth Reich will rise again and the Fuhrer’s goals will be completed.

    • Reply
      Ted Baily says

      Why do you hate anybody … why hate … what good does hate do? Just because YOU and other oppose it … does it make it wrong? If something you believe, but yet someone else does not believe it does it make YOU wrong? That is just stupid – un-American, unfaithful … did I say stupid. And to the woman afraid of he children being exposed to the “gay lifestyle” … um … if your child is not gay, they are not going to be gay or become gay … now they maybe sexually unhealthy because of your close-mindedness and damaging hatefulness – no … get over yourself, or stay away from restaurants with shell fish – and keep them away from people with tattoos, who cut their beard / hair, mix fabrics in clothing … what am I missing — guess

  10. Reply
    Steve says

    Some people are so dumb

  11. Reply
    majikdik says

    God bless the stupid, for one day they shall inherit the earth.

    • Reply
      RussInKS says

      Mostly in six foot plots.

  12. Reply
    LOLderp says

    Really Christians. They are the backward and hypocritical fools in America. Do you people know that Alan Turing was a gay? If your kids are on the computer, they are using the invention of a gay man. I bet your ignorant minds didn’t know that…

  13. Reply
    Cass says

    This is another example of liberals trampling the rights of Christians to not be forced into gay marriage. Pastors are being forced to gay marry, bakeries are being fined if they do not make gay marriage cakes and soon our children will be expelled from school if they refuse to learn about gay bedroom acts. Why are people okay with trampling this nation’s moral identity? I’m sure the terrorists are just happy to see us doing this to ourselves and tearing this country apart with them having to do no work.

    • Reply
      Keri says

      Noone said anything about kids being expelled for refusing to learn about gay s*x…. it’s not like s*x ed teachers have the kids watch p**n or something… stop being such an idiot. And what people are doing to gays now by refusing to marry them or make them wedding cakes, is the same shit that was pulled back in the 1930s and 40s and be for to black men and women… prejudice is prejudice and I do believe that your “GOOD BOOK” frowns on prejudice… so stop it already… and another thing… you do realize that this article is about beluga whales… and rainbow you see is light refraction thru the water…. no such thing as homosexual Chem trails… it’s people like you… those who have prejudice and are unforgiving of those around them are truly the unholy among us… people like you are the ones who will fall for the false prophets and be the cause behind why this world burns… no rapture for you

    • Reply
      Crow says

      It’s fine when Christians persecute and trample the rights of everyone else for the last 1700 years, but it sucks when the tables have been turned huh

    • Reply
      Hikaru says

      Cass, no, gay sex acts wouldn’t get taught to public schools. Straight sex acts aren’t taught in schools, so why would gay sex acts be taught to public schools? Think about that for a second. The CLOSEST thing to ANY sex act taught in schools is teaching about puberty.

    • Reply
      Patti says

      Why do you assume Christians have any rights other than what is spelled out in our Constitution? Our Constitution says we will not hold any religion above another. If you want do business with the public in this country, you do business with all the public, not just the ones you pick and choose. Years ago the popular discrimination was based on skin color, and justified with biblical passages. Did you agree with that? It’s no different, and a few years from now it will be a non-issue completely.

  14. Reply
    Concerned Father says

    You know, I’m going to get this off my chest. I am a reasonable guy and can go progressive on issues, but I’m very alarmed with the recent push in gay marriage and what it means to my family.

    I have three sons, school aged, and now this is going to become a reality for them. We have a traditional home and I prefer to see them grow-up into fine young men and have their own family.

    We are normal folk. I go to work every day and my job is nothing fancy, we have to use public schools that I’ve paid taxes in and we support. But now I know this gay marriage is going to carry an agenda with it and I agree with that poster above, we are not slowing down to think this through.

    It is just like common sense has left this modern world.

    • Reply
      Keri says

      Dude… i come from a traditional family as well and I understand it is difficult for you to understand this, but whether or not gay marriage is legal or not will have no effect on whether your sons have traditional families of their own or not… there is no agenda here unless you count acceptance and not being persecuted as an agenda…. people/ parents had this same kind of reaction when they started to desegregate schools back in the day… nothing horrific happened then… children were not scarred for life like parents believed… the same will go for this… grow up and stop being sooo small minded…

    • Reply
      Ivan says

      You should be pleased that, if any of your sons is gay, that now he can enjoy the same rights as all other citizens. Seeing a gay couple is not going to turn your sons gay.

      Question: If you believe that, does that mean that you feel YOU could be easily “turned into” a homosexual? Is your attraction to woman so weak that the mere sight of a gay couple could have you longing for a same sex relationship? If not, if you are 100% straight, what’s your worry?

    • Reply
      Patti says

      But it can’t possibly have an agenda… and your three sons, what if one or more of them is gay? Won’t you want them to have the same rights as everyone else? Gay people are fine people with families, all over the world.

    • Reply
      Eye roller says

      People upset about gay sex being taught in school, did you drop out before you got to Sex Ed in school? Straight people do some crazy stuff too. What do gay people do that straight people don’t? Anal? Oral? Straight couples do that too. If you are scared of gay sex then you should be all for gay marriage since we all know marriage leads to less sex.
      If they don’t show straight porn in schools, why would they show gay porn?

  15. Reply
    farcydarcy says

    Whose DNA does that buff whale have? Awesome.

  16. Reply
    Jon Gay says

    Can confirm this is true. Was a god fearing right wing Christian before going to Seaworld last week. Now I love c**k in and around my mouth and a** and am trying to make everyone else in the country gay as well.

  17. Reply
    Vic Evans says

    Wow, just look at all these gay marriage advocates getting on this comment thread, celebrating and declaring victory over the legalization of homosexual marriage nationwide in America.

    Look at how callous the concerned commentators are being treated by the liberals. This is called persecution and it was warned this would happen in these end times.

    How can society be so blinded on the problem of this? I am shaking my head. Here is the issue for those who just don’t get it.

    The law no longer recognizes the primordial, complementary natural roles of mother and father. The natural family as the fundamental context defining where we have come from and who we are is set aside. Genetically, the purpose of human life is reproduction.

    Our bodies are made to carry on the species, when there is no flaw within our genetics. A man and woman come together, raise a child and that child will be raised to maturity, then do the same. This is the continuation of our species and the meaning of life. For humans, this is the basis of the family unit.

    With gay marriage legalized, the family becomes a creation of the state, and where the family is a creation of the state, children become, in important legal respects, the property of the state.

    Instead of freely accepting God’s gift, we seek to dominate (and even alter) nature, constructing our own moral truths. The result is a deceptive pseudo-freedom that degrades our humanity.

    • Reply
      Bob says

      Stupid people often feel oppressed by intelligent ideas they are unable to understand.

      • Reply
        Pete says

        Well said! And as a side note, why do those who defend a country that was partly founded on the freedom of religion feel so strongly about pushing their views on others that don’t follow the same religion (or any, for that matter). Remember, many of those that came here were fleeing religious persecution. Let’s not create that scenario again. Separation of church and state… it’s in the Constitution!

        • Reply
          Alexander says

          Actually that’s not entirely true. It is a popular founding myth that the Puritans left England to escape religious persecution. Actually the truth of the matter is that they had been in power on a specific agenda of imposing their religion on others. When they were defeated in the English civil war they went to the Americas to found a colonies where they could be free to persecute as they saw fit and be allowed to impose their religion.

          Around 150 years later when the country gained its independence the “founding fathers” in writing the new constitution saw how important it was to build a strong country. So they specifically included that he country should have no religious bias (the principal of separation of church and state) so that tolerance and respect for all religions and those of none was built into the founding documents.

          It is sad that 240 years later the modern day Puritans (the fundamentalist Christian Right) want to tear up that part of the founding fathers vision, and return to the days where the state was free to impose religious values on all.

          It is weird that those who are so fervently patriotic and are supposedly all about individual freedoms are the same people who want to fundamentally change the way the country was designed and have the state impose values on its citizens.

  18. Reply
    charles says

    Whether gay marriage is right or wrong is for each individual to decide for themselves – such is the personal nature of ones conscience? How can anyone make that choice if it is already outlawed by the state? How can Christians (of which I am one ) use the name of Christianity to judge people (or by extension) their life style/choices when Jesus told us NOT to judge others (he without guilt casting the firsat stone and all that – in addition some parts of the Christian world has a despicable history when it comes to sexual criminality let alone gay love – I really do detect a flavour of hypocrisy in all of this – so really if your not gay or don’t intend to be in a gay relationship it doesn’t really affect you ( unless of course you see it as an opportunity to display love for your neighbour as instructed by our saviour whose name you bandy about in what is really in the modern secular world a political issue – peace!

  19. Reply
    Johnny says

    I’m so glad I’m not a christian

    • Reply
      Scott A says

      ‘Nuff said! Later y’all.

  20. Reply
    Don says

    This is fracking insane
    Who ever believes this load of crap please contact me I have some beach front property for sale in the desert!! Really who comes up with this BS

  21. Reply
    smf says

    Hilarious and sad that some in the human race would write this and others would believe and promote such utter nonsense!

  22. Reply
    Nance says

    THANK YOU!!! I laughed so hard!!! THANK YOU!!!!

  23. Reply
    X says

    Next: They’ll be trained as suicide bombers…

  24. Reply
    Chrissy J says

    Now I want a wedding cake with dildoes on it. And I don’t even have a partner!
    Thank you Cass for that wonderful image!

  25. Reply
    Frog says

    Damn! Why does the dark age of wanton carnality have to come when I am already an old man?

  26. Reply
    The Roiling Hillbilly says

    This is an outrage!! I can’t believe those gays are using dolphins to get into our famileez. The CHURCH needs to act on dis rite away!! I can’t blieve how bad the gay thing is getting in our societee. This is unaccepatabLe!!!

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