In my duties to investigate cultural morality in America, I almost failed to report on the rude, disgusting and downright inappropriate form-fitting dress that Michelle Obama wore to her final state dinner as the First Lady of the United States.
Isn’t this woman a mother? It is really reprehensible that she thinks a dress that fits the female form in such ways is a good example to young woman out there. If you look closely you can see how the dress hugs her thighs and reveals all the mammalian sins that should only be for the eyes of her husband Barack Obama. What sort of man would let his woman leave the house in such a dress that should be wrinkled up on the floor of a Vegas brothel after enough $20 bills were thrown!
Those poor men-at-arms in the back are having their young eyes perverted. This is a classic case of the old cougar trying to use her form and power to tantalize. Why is it that when Democrats gain power, it is suddenly nothing but sensuality and lust in the White House. If Hillary Clinton would have won the last elections, there is no doubt there would have been Cabana Boys under the desk in the Oval Office and Bill would have gladly paraded around in daisy dukes, trying to lure some young female intern with his millionaire thighs.
No matter if you voted for the president-elect or not, let us be happy that the future first lady is setting a great example for young woman everywhere. The incoming family is a tale of class and regal prowess that the United States has sorely missed over the last 8 years. The Queen of England must be elated that a proper lady who knows how to dress in tasteful fashion will soon be her guest at state dinners.
This whole the first-lady dressing like Beyonce getting ready to give a lapped dance is coming to an end and I am for one grateful, just like every parent raising a young lady should be in the coming years.