Obama Conspires with Lebron James to Suspend Draymond Green from Game Five of NBA Finals

With Golden State Warriors cruising to a commanding 3-1 lead over the thug-antic Cleveland Cavaliers, Barack Obama has stepped in and wielded presidential power to give Lebron James and his team of misfits a change in the NBA finals.

obama lebron james conspiracyBeing raised in the tough streets of Chicago after relocating from Kenya, Obama is biased against clean teams like the Golden State Warriors. Coaches Steve Kerr and Luke Walton demand their players play pure IQ-driven basketball: clean passes, efficient shots and emphasis on ‘strength in numbers’ teamwork.

The ‘Stanford-style’ of play featured by the Warriors rubs the new inner-city driven NBA-types the wrong way. The crisp, clean passes and efficient shooting demanded by Coach Steve Kerr and Luke Walton don’t mesh well with the ‘ghetto-ball’ style of play Lebron tries to keep popular, though it is just not necessary in this day and age of sports.

The Obama-Lebron Conspiracy to Weaken the Warriors

Most of the players for the Warriors have a very high basketball IQ and play an ‘old-school’ style of play the way Dr. James Naismith envisioned.  When you see players like Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Andrew Bogut and Livingston, you can tell they are cut from the same cloth as greats such as Bob Cousey, Larry Bird, John Stockton, Danny Ainge, Detlef Shrempf, Bob Petit, Kurt Rambis, Steve Kerr, Dan Majerle, Tony Kukoc and Christian Laettner.

Game-after-game this season, we can see the clean cut Warriors were able achieve the greatest win record of all time, because they play clean basketball.

Unfortunately, the Warriors have one player who while he is very good, he is prone to the same pitfalls of a Ron Artest or Sheed Wallace.  The player is Draymond Green.

[adinserter block=”2″]While Green can definitely fit in and play that good ol’ Stanford style ball, he still has that Michigan State thuggishness boiling beneath the surface and in Game 4 of the NBA finals, Lebron James groomed Green to the point to letting a bit of that inner-city fury come out one more time.

Here we see Lebron James blatantly teabag Draymond Green.  Lebron knows how it works:  you cannot just ‘punk’ someone with some hood in them and not get a reaction.  Obama knows this too.  Sources report before Game 4, Obama called Lebron and told him to ‘pick one little fight with Draymond and I’ll see to the rest’.  Lebron did just that:

It is unfortunate that NBA commissioner Adam Silver did not see past Lebron’s thug antics.  While the Warriors are a great team, they are like a wealthy suburban mom thrown into Compton against Lebron and his group of misfits.  Lebron has hard earned prison muscles that he uses to jab Curry in the face.  JR Smith’s glossy eyes stare in cold domination at Thompson and Livingston, while the Arctic Bearded Wolf aka Kevin Love can rap cold with the best of anyone from 8-mile.

Even the least-thug member of the Cavs, Kevin Love, routinely films hardcore rap videos and flaunts his bling on the weekends.

This type of play is scary and intimidating for likes of more gentle-natured players like Curry.  This is where Draymond Green is a cultural ambassador.

In Game 3, Coach Tyrone Lue told his boys to ‘rough up’ the Warriors and in the post-game analysis, a clearly frazzled Warriors team felt they were mugged.

After the Game, Draymond Green recognized what happened all to well.  The Cavs pulled some straight West Philadelphia bullying on the Warriors.

Green stated, “We were extremely soft,” the Warriors’ All-Star forward said after practice on Thursday. “We got bullied, punked, whatever word you can find for it.”

Green used the word “punked” again when asked what adjustments the Warriors might make against the Cleveland Cavaliers.

“There was no X or O adjustment they made. They punked us,” Green said.

Unfortunately, Lebron cried and filed assault charges on Draymond Green, stating he was brutalized and traumatized.  NBA officials, forced by Obama, agreed to acquiesce to Lebron’s playing victim and fine Draymond $129,000 and kick him out of crucial Game 5.

Post a Comment


  1. Reply
    Chef Curry says

    lol funny read. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit if that’s how it really went down.

Post a comment