Homosexuality Erupts In Rural Oregon After Residents Forced to Pump Gas

Oregon officials are being faced with a state of emergency after an outbreak of rural homosexuality happened across the state.

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According to reports, an Obama-era mandate required cities with more than 40,000 people to pump their own gas starting January 4th.

Scientists with the Christian Defense League of Texas have published numerous reports that prove during the Obama administration, illuminati oil companies from the middle East started adding homosexual chemicals to traditional gasoline.

When pumped into a car, the pressurized fumes are released and contain homosexual chemtrails that are inhaled by whoever is doing the pumping.

Analysts at the CDC confirm a higher incidence of homosexuality and gay traits are found among gas station attendants:  bulging forearms that emerge from dirty rolled up sleeves, squintin steel-cut blue eyes that stand in contrast to the sun-tanned and grease streaked face.  Strong hands from working the gas pump.

Numerous eyewitness reports of communities being suddenly crippled and confused by self-pump homosexuality are already sparking a media firestorm on the ethics of allowing citizens to engage in activities that can trigger the brain to become gay.

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  1. Reply
    Dominque says

    What type of fuckery is this!!!? Hahahaha like is this for real who the hell are you people!!! I need to share this immediately

  2. Reply
    Ken says

    Oh the humanity.

  3. Reply
    Erik Beckman says

    Dude it’s satire. It’s one of the BEST satire sites in the web. Check out the one from last summer where they claimed Obama used dark magic to cause the eclipse lol.

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