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Faulty Eclipse Glasses An Act Of Sabotage

A recent statement from a source within the offices of the Federal Trade Commission has garnered growing public interest. The FTC agent, who wishes to remain anonymous, let slip new information regarding the shipments of counterfeit eclipse glasses that made their way to American consumers this month. Many who bought or received such glasses were disappointed to find that they were not up to safety standard. Use of these counterfeit glasses could risk exposure to dangerous UV rays, which could induce permanent blindness.

When asked if there was any possibility that the safety standards were disregarded in order to meet the high market demand in such short time, our source had much to say.

“[…] of course. Now, we are sure this was intentional, but we are still investigating the root cause. Without further evidence, we cannot determine if this was an act of corporate greed, or international aggression.”

When pressed for more details on the implications of that statement, our source seemed perturbed that he had let confidential information slip. He quickly covered his employee name badge with his hand.

“[…] No, please do not quote me on that, and don’t use my name. There is […] no evidence to the claim that Chinese companies deliberately sent us faulty glasses in an attempt to blind the public. I really must be getting back to my office now.”

Our attempts at further questions were rebuffed as he quickly ran through a secured door into the FTC offices. Building security showed up moments later to remove us from the premises.

About The Author
Bobby Coachella

Bobby Coachella is a managing editor and reporter for Liberal Darkness.

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