During a televised statement, President Trump announced that North Korea will be struck with unprecedented ‘fire and fury’ the likes of which the world has never seen, the devastating power of said strikes destroying North Korea forever. Insiders with knowledge of the White House confirm that the strikes will not be with nuclear weapons, as liberal media tried to describe, but instead with the explosive homosexual chemtrail technology the gay scientists unleashed on July 4, 2015, in partnership with the Obama administration.
With its bad haircuts and bland uniforms, it is obvious that homosexuality currently has no place in North Korea. But after President Trump strikes North Korea with explosive bouts of homosexual chemtrails, the likes of which the world has never seen, homosexuality will spread like wildfire and ultimately confuse the cold, dismal males of the country who are fine with crumpled, oversized clothing, fledgling physiques and plain wives.
Moles within North Korea report the nation currently boasts an impressive .001% per capita homosexual rate (+/- 2 SD), meaning the males of the country are willing to plug into normal 9-5 tasks without fuss or question. But after President Trump strikes North Korea with homosexual chemtrails, scientists with the Christian Defense League of Texas estimate the sudden and unexpected shift in male behavior will instantly confuse and crush life in the reclusive regime.
Within 10 – 15 minutes of exposure, North Korean men will start to experience the classic signs of homosexuality: restlessness and clarity of mind, causing them to become disgusted with their shoddy personal appearance and bucking authority with smarmy commentary with one another. As the smoke continues to linger in the air and coalesce with the water and food supply, the men start to experience both psychological and somatic changes typical of that of a gay man with raging hormones: intense desires to seek foreign male testosterone, unrelenting urge to attract other men by twerking against metal objects in the street and disregard for jobs that will suddenly seem to menial and below their mindset.
Officials warn that only North Korean elite who are able to flee to fallout shelters after word spreads of the strikes may be safe, but the homosexuality rate in North Korea will likely surpass 90% within 24 hours, effectively crippling the nation with men with newfound homosexuality and thus unable to make credible threats to Western nations.
The CDC of Texas is urging churches to pray for all the new men who will contract homosexuality should the US unleash homosexual chemtrails, but realize that the end justifies the means since inflicting homosexuality in this case serves US interests.