Overnight ground reports from Seattle indicate powerful gay leaders in the region have pooled their vast resources and performed a military coup, overthrowing the last of the city’s conservative leaders and capturing vocally loud opponents.
In gay fashion, eyewitnesses report the coup was neat, precise and very efficient. By the time anyone knew what was going on, gay forces had taken strategic locations throughout the city and laid low until an agenda became very clear as of last night.
It remained unclear what all the isolated reports were until rough dawn, when gays made a small fortification at the space needle and mounted their standard atop.
A message came over the city’s communiques: “shut down the gay conversion centers.”
For years Seattle has been home to one of the nation’s most powerful and recently controversial ‘gay conversion’ therapy centers on Earth. Sources indicate that burgeoning gays were historically shipped to the city against their will and taken to these centers, where intensive therapy would ‘take the gay away’.
Gay supersite Towleroad.com indicates the gay coup must have caused Seattle to shut down these centers and is demanding a formal apology before they agree to turn full control of the city back to the regular government.