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Gays Luring Pokémon Go Players into Homosexual Gyms

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untitledNew reports show that homosexuality is on the rise in areas with a high-density of Pokémon Go downloads.

For every 5 software programmers, 3 are involved in homosexuality. So it is no surprise that gays have been able to quickly code Pokémon Go to empower the gay agenda.

Multiple news sources have reported innocent straight people, typically single college-aged men enjoying their summer break new smartphone app, are finding themselves lured into gay bars in search of ‘legendary’ Pokémon who just so happen to be hiding inside bathrooms or what gays allegedly call The Glory Whole.

Anonymous sources confirm that gays are routinely browsing college dating sites, finding ‘cute’ single guys who express interest in Pokémon and finding their phone number, then simply using GPS to find their phone’s serial number and seeing if it has Pokémon GO installed. From there, it is easy for them to download a packet into the phone that puts in new locations to find Pokémon.

Once lured to one of these locales, the gays who reprogrammed Nintendo’s satellites are allegedly dressing up like the Pokémon Machamp and Machop and feeling up the confused Pokémon catchers, who think the chiseled abs and Daisy-Duke boxing shorts are just an immersive part of the application’s experience.

Reports show that at least 50 people per day are reporting ‘unexpected homosexual encounters’ as part of the game.

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