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Obama Performs Rite of Super Blood Moon To Hand Satan Control of the World

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Obama has completed the rite of ascension for Satan in the darkest hours of mankind.

On the Pope’s last day in America, Obama plans to perform the ritual that gives Satan official control of the presidency of the United States of America.  Obama knows that his time in power is coming to an end and he wants to ensure that before he leaves office, he does every thing possible to destroy American values, Christian heritage and moral conservatism that made America great.untitled

According to ancient Sumerian text:  ‘On a night when a great Christian leader bids farewell to the world’s most powerful people, Satan will attempt to arise in the night sky.  His form will be that of a fiery moon.   His rite of ascension can only be carried out by the leader of the people, in the darkest hours gules’.

Religious scholars have prophesied that the super bloodmoon would truly be the ‘end of Earth’ and they are correct.  Liberals are celebrating today and being mockers, claiming that the Earth will not go up in a fiery explosion of destruction that ends humanity, but liberals do not realize Satan does not want the Earth physically destroyed.  Satan wants the Earth morally destroyed.

The last super blood moon took place in 1982.  A man by the name of Ronald Reagan had only started his first term as president and was not going to let the Satan unleash communism and have lease upon the world’s greatest Christian economy.

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During the blood moon of 1982, Reagan and the nation’s greatest prayer warriors prayed for 24 hours straight to ward of Satan’s attempt to take control of America and the rest of humanity.

Ronald Reagan lead the greatest Christian pastors and leaders in an unprecedented 24-hour long prayer binge in the halls of the US capitol.  Reports reveal that Satan tried to scare America with earthquakes, blizzards and even a wayward Russian nuclear submarine that day, but Reagan refused to leave his prayer post and allow some democrat perform the rite of the super blood moon, which has to be performed in the seat of the greatest nation’s capitol.

Obama’s entire presidency has lead to tonight:  09/27/2015.  The entire reason Obama ran for president was so that tonight he could hand control of the world over to Satan, by accepting the rite of the super blood moon ascension.

If Obama fails tonight, Satan will try to arise again with the ultimate blood moon in year 2033 (2 o 33) = 2 times 3 3’s which = 2 x 3, 2 x 3, 2 x 3 which = 6 6 6.

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Comments(27)

  1. Reply
    Mark Schnitzer says

    this is so far from the gospel message I do not even know what to say other than ridiculous fearmongering.

    • Reply
      karen says

      Right on….from the response you got, I’d say its a tiny bit more pathological…eheheh… Oh well, let’s keep spreading good things.

  2. Reply
    Bennie Oliver says

    You sir…are an idiot !

    • Reply
      Brian says

      You sir, are the idiot for thinking this post is serious….

  3. Reply
    Sami Zegir says

    This may be the single most stupid thing ever published on the Internet. Sumerian text quotes Christian WHAT? Man, you failed High School Ancient History classes, didn’t you?

  4. Reply
    E. williams says

    The ancient Sumarians lived over 3,000 years before Christ , so who is making what horsepucky up as they go along , hmmm ? The usual nonsense from some wingnut a-go-go dancer in the dark (-ness of ignorance) !

  5. Reply
    Joe Blow says

    So, now that we are still here, are you lying? Where could your stupidity have led you wrong?

    Huh…now what do you do with your life.

  6. Reply
    Katy says

    This, this is one of the biggest pieces of crap ever written. Jesus, help you and your soul.

  7. Reply
    Beliver says

    Wow. Such Satan. So apocalypse. Wow.

  8. Reply
    Alicia C Simpson says

    Do you ever actually READ the Bible??

    (Matthew 4:8–11 NRSV)
    “Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor; and he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! for it is written,
    ‘Worship the Lord your God,
    and serve only him.’”
    Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.”

    Satan ALREADY has control of the world.

    (Luke 4:5–8 NRSV)
    “Then the devil led him up and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And the devil said to him, “To you I will give their glory and all this authority; for it has been given over to me, and I give it to anyone I please. If you, then, will worship me, it will all be yours.” Jesus answered him, “It is written,
    ‘Worship the Lord your God,
    and serve only him.’””

    • Reply
      Bill says

      How is it possible to see all the kingdoms of the world on a round earth?

    • Reply
      MaxV61 says

      Seriously? You actually come back with bible verses (never proven to be true, taught as literature in every university and college in the U.S. that isn’t a seminary or convent) on a satire site? Relax. Take a breather. There is no such thing as a devil. There is no such thing as God. In 2,015 years of documented history, neither have been photographed or seen. But we have seen a blood moon.

  9. Reply
    TRUE_BELEIBER says

    All hail Baphomet.
    The true redeemer rises.
    Your weak god trembles before his Lord, his disciples abandoned.
    The righteous will dine on the flesh of the wicked and wear them as cloth.

    • Reply
      JHubbaBubba says

      Now, this comment makes the most sense. It’s on point with the first one, people.
      S A T I R E- read the definition, dorks!

  10. Reply
    DRKozak says

    …and you can’t do simple multiplication. Sad.

  11. Reply
    Rod Gates says

    Dear Mark and Sami,
    It’s PARODY, you ninnies! Jeez….

  12. Reply
    Shabatti Ben Zivi says

    Hail saturn the lord of the worlds may we Earn our worshipful master from our stupidity and ignorance may he energize us to do his bidding the master of masters.!!!!

  13. Reply
    Mephistopheles says

    Rod – SHHHHH!

  14. Reply
    MC says

    I didn’t know Obama has control over heaven and earth. Lol. If he is that powerful as you say he is, then why doesn’t he make it rain? We need water.

  15. Reply
    chocotofke says

    Question: Who believe in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit and God?
    Who believe in Satan?
    Who is Catholic, Muslim or 7 day Adventist?
    Who doesn’t believe at all in God or Satan? or only one of them

    Last question: Would you mind study this life? From hidden history till 2day? or in a lab, or archaeology ect
    Im asking cause people think about there money, their opinion, or how foolish it might seem 2 ACTUALLY THINK TWICE before pre judge about the case of bloodmoon/obama/pope visite/mars/ lets not forget Poetin.

    Im just asking…cause i do not wanna lecture you cause you won’t get it or wake up anyway… you have 2 discover this/ some things by yourself 2 understand why we are living her on earth first of all.

    When i was young i ask my mother; why does the sea called sea and not sahara. Or how can you tell that im lying..? Research and instinct, *after this i start believe without doubt in God and so i know 666 the Beast isn’t a Fiction.

    Love Peace and Harmony
    Take care peepz

    * If could try drugs without research knowing what my instinct was telling me…. why wouldn’t i try God out even if it seems awkward at first sight.

    God Bless you, may He open up your eyes so you can be saved in Jesus Name…Amen

  16. Reply
    Ty says

    It’s satire, sometimes it pissed off stupid people. Well, would you look at that. It pissed off some stupid people

  17. Reply
    Devin says

    You shitheads are a riot! You need to take this stupid yet hilarious shit national. I’m sure there are enough peabrains out there to make it a success. I almost peed myself. No joke!

  18. Reply
    Daniel Guillot says

    There is no such entity as Satan nor is there such a place as Hell theaching this form of mythology to children is a form of child abuse to tell a child there is sucha place that they will be burned and tortured forever.

  19. Reply
    steve says

    There’s definately a hell. I grew up with alot of demonic activity because my brother was into the occult. I’ve seen a person levitate as a demon was being cast out. But the good news is I know how it ends. .with Satan cast back into hell.

    • Reply
      Edward Lester says

      Satan’s greatest accomplishment in this or any generation was to convince people he doesn’t exist. Then he is once again free to roam at will unopposed, covert.

  20. Reply
    joe says

    lol! sumerians predict christians 5000 years before they are formed

  21. Reply
    Breandan Frederick says

    I’d think anyone with a modicum of intelligence would recognize a total eclipse of the moon when they saw it. Don’t they teach about the rotation of Earth, moon, and Sun in grade school anymore?

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