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Confirmed: Gay Christians Are Conspiring To Go To Heaven, Organize Gay Marriage Protests and Legislation

Gay Christians are conspiring to create the type of Heaven where Freddie Mercury greets you at the gate and eternal gay marriage is a fact of life.

Several  moles who infiltrated a largely gay Christian congregation confirm that homosexuals are conspiring to go to heaven and organize massive pro-gay marriage demonstrations that will force the older, conservative angels to bend Heaven’s laws itself and allow gay marriage.

[adinserter block=”3″]This devious plot is powered by a boost in homosexual morale following Barack Obama’s campaign for universal gay marriage rights.  Recent polls show that over 63% percent of Americans support gay marriage, the number reaching over 90% in other majority-Christian nations.

The crux of the plan involves gays planning to form powerful lobbies in Heaven and organize massive protests.  Their goal is to make gay marriage an eternal right for all angels.

Why Are The Homosexuals Trying to Push Gay Marriage Into Heaven?

The logic behind this most recent development of the gay agenda stems from the concept of ‘eternal family’.  When traditional Christians pass away, many take comfort in knowing that their childhood dog, Grandpa, Mee-maw and perhaps even spouse will be there waiting for them.

Moles within gay churches also discovered that gay Christians have a weird infatuation with Freddie Mercury greeting them at the entrance of heaven.  Gay legislators also plan to appeal any past decisions that would have resulted in Mercury not being in Heaven.Now that they are allowed to get married and have families, gay Christians want that same level of comfort in knowing that their gay spouses will be there at Heaven’s gates, lustily waiting for them so they can spend eternity jetting away on exotic vacations, mounting skyward with strong wings and glistening abs as they enjoy each other’s company in destinations all across the universe.

But the Bible makes it clear that the nation of Heaven does not recognize same sex marriage and has strong DOMA legislation in place.

Thus evangelical gays are doing their best to convert modern churches into gay-friendly institutions, so that when the parishioners pass away they will join the burgeoning gay marriage movement in Heaven.

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