Typically suave and well-groomed, gays are disguising themselves as ‘backwood country-folk’ along the nation’s best fishing banks and hunting grounds. When fresh groups of straight friends –usually assortments of doctors, lawyers and businessmen — go to these areas for rafting and hunting, they don’t suspect the locals are actually gays who are casing them and preparing to make them do ‘pig-play’.
News of this new community came to light two weeks ago, after one hunter — only identifying himself as Joe — broke his silence following a fishing trip to to Mississippi River valley.
“Several of my work friends and I went to the [valley] for a weekend of beer and fishing, you know, get away from the city and families for a bit. We went into town to get a new supply of beer and didn’t think twice when one of the locals we met said ‘maybe we’ll see you later’.”
The hunter continued, ‘We did see him later. We saw him and everyone else from that damned store. They captured my friends and I and that’s all I want to see about it. They did horrible things.”
The hunter’s story matches that of many others who have taken hunting trips throughout America’s heartland and certain areas of the black mountain hills of Dakota.
Reports all match in one startling detail: the attackers are reenacting scenes from the movie ‘Deliverance’ when they attack.
One group of deer hunters were in North Dakota when they were chased down by a group of ‘hillbillies’ who all had suspiciously gay accents. One of the deer hunters was told to ‘take them panties off’ and then to ‘squeal like a pig’.
Officials have found evidence that gays are pooling their vast wealth to set-up communities in rural areas, where they secretly go during the weekend and apply make-up to hide their typically good looks beneath a veil of bad teeth, unkempt hygiene and sod-ridden clothing that does not fit well.
When a group of suburban hunters, usually dads getting away from work and family by taking a weekend hunting trip, these assembled towns of weekend gays in disguise go out and prey, selecting those who they want to engage in their ‘pig play games’ with them.
Hunter Joe reports that after his group of friends were attacked, two of his friends became ‘strangely aroused’ by recanting the account of events to officials and now are in counseling to combat their increased homosexual urges.