Morgan Hill, California – America’s bacon supply is in jeopardy. Farmers in Morgan Hill, California, have confirmed that entire droves of pigs are displaying blue fat all throughout their bodies.
The effects of blue fats on humans who consume it remains unknown, but scientists with the CDC have confirmed that the fat contains trace amounts of plutonium and yellow cake, indicating that it has been irradiated with some form of nuclear energy.
Communiques on the Internet show chatter between known Iranian activists who are claiming responsibility for the pig attacks. Only a week ago, Obama gave Iran permission to continue their experiments with nuclear energy and they have wasted no time perfecting some sort of genetically engineered pig virus that turns fat cells in pigs radioactive.
Coupled with China’s recent attack on America’s chicken supply that resulted in over 40 million chickens dying and the price of eggs doubling, it will no longer be possible for Americans to eat a decent classic American breakfast in this tough Obama economy.
With so many Americans depending on bacon, eggs and coffee to start their day, the new prices will force them to skip breakfast or to eat processed foods, resulting in increased fatness and lower productivity.
It could only be expected that Obama and Iran’s religious dislike of pork would culminate in such an attack that hurts both pigs and Americans alike.