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Thousands of Anti-Christian Spiders Are Spin A Mega-Web in Texas

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A startling new report from Texas confirms genetically engineered spiders are building a communal ‘mega-web’ in a Christian neighborhood.

635748307748182232-Giant-spider-webNews of Obama’s latest Jade Helm attack against the righteous came to light early Saturday morning, when reports that a Texas youth pastor never returned home from a jog the evening before.

Earlier in the week, Allen made a stir after refusing to officiate a gay-marriage ceremony for a young college couple at his church.

635748306509846294-0810-giant-spider-web-2Friends and family scoured Allen’s neighborhood, hoping for the best and fearing the worst.  What the search party found near the suburb, which boasts a 89% per capita Christian household rating, was unnatural and shocked scientists:

Communal areas such as the mega-web are not common in the animal kingdom.  Talk of ‘communal’ properties brings up thoughts of socialism and communism. Local Christians find it highly suspicious that the web has popped up only weeks into Obama’s Jade Helm invasion of Texas.

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